Merry Christmas

I always say that this time of year is going to be slower than it has been in years past.

This year, that has been partially true.

In November, I found a crack in my leg. Cracks in prostheses are NOT a good thing. Skin gets pinched, stability gets compromised...in short, just makes walking a fairly painful affair.

The process of making a new leg began. It isn't a short process because it is so much easier to make changes before making the final socket (top part of the leg). After several test sockets and much gratefulness to my leg guy for working so hard to get the right fit, I have a new leg as of yesterday.

There were some issues that will necessitate some tweaks--there always are. I'm currently in the "living with it" phase to see just what tweaks need to be made. At the end of the process, I'm always amazed that something that isn't naturally a part of me somehow becomes a part of me. In fact, during the time I've been without a leg, I've learned again how much I hate just sitting!

Despite the trips to the leg place and Jeff's incident with the stairs (he fell down a flight of stairs and broke his collarbone--we were actually thankful for the broken bone; it could have been so much worse), we've managed to get the house decorated though not quite as much as usual. Lists have been made and gifts bought. Christmas plans have been made.

We are all ready for the Christmas break. Time with family, time with each other--just time!

In case I don't get back here before Christmas, have a very Merry Christmas!

Up All Night & Demises

Last night, Gracen had her first ever lock-in. She was very excited, needless to say.

She stayed up all night. She is currently staring bleary eyed at her computer, biding her time until it is deemed cool (by 12 year old standards) to go to bed.

And I realized, again, that if one member of the household stays up all night the other members essentially do too. They get to share by proxy.

This day has been a day of demises in our house. I lost what I thought was a pretty good skillet--at least it was a good size. Turns out, there are truly some things that just won't come off.

I also happened to catch sight of the hamster cage. I don't generally look in on Cookie--I appreciate her from afar. She was curled up in the wheel.

Closer inspection revealed that she was, in fact, dead. I don't know whether she was running on the wheel and just couldn't go anymore--hamster coronary, if you will, or whether it was just her time to go. I have a rather sinking feeling that perhaps her food bowl didn't get filled quite as often as it should have.

Cooking rice for supper resulted in another lost cooking vessel. Doesn't take long for the water to cook out and the rice to stick--especially when you walk outside for just a few minutes.

So we are down 2 pans and a hamster.

Two of those things will go on my Christmas wish list; one most definitely will not.

I think showers for about to be married people are ill-timed. Couples really need showers at about 15-20 years in. A celebration for not having killed each other :) and a replacement for all things household!

I'm off to do that southern Saturday tradition--hello, pigskin; Go Hogs! Think I'll also convince my kid that 7:30 is really a cool time to go to bed...

I'm Just Curious...

It is November 9. Halloween was about two weeks ago. Christmas is 6 weeks away.

Last I checked, there is a holiday between the two. That holiday for turkey and football lovers alike.

Thanksgiving.

But I've noticed something. It's become sort of tradition for stores to go from Halloween to Christmas with nary a thought to Thanksgiving, save for sales on the bird.

But this year seems different.

I don't watch a lot of TV but I've noticed that there are no (at least that I've seen) commercials for Thanksgiving. Usually there are some scattered about reminding us to stock up on green beans and french fried onions for the green bean casserole. Stores are completely decorated. Christmas music is playing round the clock on a local radio station. Christmas trees are going up.

So I'm curious--what about Thanksgiving? Is it a non-issue? Are we so ready to rush time that already charges at supersonic speed?

I guess I just wonder why Thanksgiving seems to be the step-child of the holiday season. Is it as simple as there are no gifts or candy give aways associated with it? Is it because there aren't really decorations associated with it? Has it been reduced to another long weekend that just happens to have an overflow of food and football?

Perhaps Thanksgiving isn't thought of much because it requires something of us. To have a day set aside for giving thanks implies that we actually are thankful, that we realize we have things for which we are undeserving. It implies that we recognize that those things, blessings if you will, come from someone.

So, yes, while I love Christmas and all the loveliness that it brings. I also deeply love Thanksgiving because it requires some reflection, some thought.

Giving thanks has a way of humbling us and grounding us so that the loveliness and meaning of Christmas can sparkle that much more.

And that is, indeed, worthy.

Happy Fall!

The pumpkin has been chosen and is awaiting its new face.

Leaves are just beginning to change and blush with shades of fall.

The air is beginning (finally!) to be more crisp and cool.

A costume has been designed--it all the hippie glory one can muster for about $15 and a hour at the thrift store.

The girl who shares my love of cooler weather seems to have grown another foot between this year's pumpkin picture and last year's.

It's beginning to look a lot like fall!

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Canine Cookie Story

At the moment, my kitchen cabinet is piled with sugar cookies cut into various dog shapes awaiting my girl to return home and ice to her heart's content. Given my recent diagnosis and the girl's undying affection for all things canine, dog cookies seemed far more fitting than fall leaves.

Besides I'm still waiting on fall's real arrival. Here in the deep south, we got lots of false starts to fall.

Then I noticed her.
This poor poodle with her tail broken off and her slightly curled head. Pitiful.

Indulge me a minute while I think through something.

How many times during the day an hour do I think pitiful in relation to myself. Especially during that cursed first hour of the day when staring into a mirror is unavoidable.

I see the scars, more numerous now than ever. I know every single detail of my inmost thoughts about my outer self that lead to the opinion (that is put into strict practice in my home) that full length mirrors have no place in what God intended to be a peaceful refuge, aka: the home.

Then it hit me. This poor poodle, complete with her missing tail and curled up head, in all probability, won't be the one that Gracen slops frosting on and devours because it's "less than".

Nope, it will be the one that she takes cares with. The one that that gets her tail glued back on with edible glue, complete with a bow. Her slightly curled head will make her head the perfect shape for an icing crown.

She will be the one that sports whatever delicious bling Gracen can find in the decorating box.

She will become more than the sum of her parts.

Every time I hurl a curse at myself because, yet again, I've chosen a Dr. Pepper, albeit a diet-caffeine free one, over water. Every time I actually choose choke down the water. Every time I hurl a curse at myself for wasting time on the computer or in front of the television instead of doing something much more useful and constructive with my time. Every time I actually choose to something useful and constructive with my time.

Every single time, with every single "good" and "bad" decision, I am still becoming more than the sum of my parts.

But, of course, I'm luckier than the poodle. The poodle exists to be decorated, even beautifully, and then eaten.

I know that, with each and every decision, good or bad, with each and every scar and flaw, physical and otherwise, I learn a bit more about becoming more than the sum of my parts--I'm learning more about the Creator of those parts. Hopefully, I'm looking more like the Creator and less like the creation.

So very much more than the sum of my parts, thankfully.

The Freak Show

It's official. My body is some weird freak show.

The recent medical issues are a case in point. After weeks of pain in all upper body joints, I went to the doctor. As he was examining me, he mentioned that my symptoms sounded viral. He also mentioned rheumatoid arthritis and some other equally sounding nasty stuff.

I got the results of the blood work yesterday. Human Parvo. Seriously? I had to google it. I knew our dogs got vaccinated against that--and that we once had a dog drop dead when my dad gave it a Parvo vaccine at home. Dead as a hammer right there on the carport. Now it is funny (not the animal dying but the circumstances around his or her demise), when you are 6 or 7...not so much.

Turns out that in children, it is called Fifth disease and characterized by a rash. In adults, it is characterized by flu like symptoms, arthritis type symptoms, and headaches. It is viral (and not transferred to humans by animals), which means it has to run its course and its course can last several weeks up to a few months--I wish I could say I was surprised but, alas, it kind of figures.

I am incredibly thankful that this is all that it is. I just am always amazed at that relatively odd things that go on inside my body.

I'll go next week to have more blood drawn and see if the levels are going down.

In the meantime, I'll stay away from the Milk Bones and hope that Jeff doesn't make me sleep on the foot of the bed :)!





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Where Joy Is

I've dealt with chronic pain for several years now. And so far, it's been somewhat manageable--though sometimes life and schedules have to be thought about more than I wish they had to be.

Over the past several weeks, there has been much more pain of a different variety. Because it has been different and ongoing, I finally broke down and visited the doctor. Blood was drawn--much, much blood.

Results should be in by Tuesday, hopefully. Things like rheumatoid arthritis and thyroid problems were mentioned. My hope at this point is that tests show something. Somehow it seems easier to hurt when you know why!

I don't know what the tests will show. I'm in that no man's land of pain without explanation, knowing something is wrong but not knowing what. The wondering if a diagnosis will change life again. The knowing that it is foolish to think too much about what it could be yet knowing that my weird brain needs to process the worst case scenario.

The tests may show something that in all honesty I'd rather not deal with, they may show something fairly easily fixable. Periods of increased pain may be in my future. There is simply no way right now to know.

Regardless of what the tests show (or don't), regardless of whether the day is pain filled or relatively pain free, regardless.... My hope, my joy doesn't rest there. It can't.

Those things change. My hope and my joy has to be anchored in something that doesn't change, that doesn't shift. Otherwise there is no hope or joy--there are only never ending questions and happiness based on circumstances, which is definitely not joy.

So, I'll wait.

I'll hurt.

I'll not understand.

BUT...

I will have joy.

"But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me." Psalm 13: 5-6

31 Days::Celebrating the Ordinary

I know that I'm a biased momma, but this girl is anything but ordinary.

And yet some of my favorite pictures of her are taken in the everyday, in the ordinary.

Those pictures are the ones that I find myself looking at again and again.

Again and again I'm reminded of how thankful I am for the privilege of being her mom.

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